HE DREW ME OUT OF MANY WATERS

Jill Soto

 Behind the veil ...

He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me. (Psalm 18:16-19)

My darkest hour was truly the beginning of my Christian experience. It was in that hour that I looked to the heavens for a God of mercy who would take me just as I was. And it was in that hour that He revealed Himself to me.

I closed my eyes... the tears streamed down my face as the longing to be one of His children ached so deeply that I could almost hear it crying out. I sat quietly with God and I let the emotions of pain and longing be exposed before His eyes, and slowly a strange vision began to emerge in my mind’s eye...

With clarity, I could see an enormous eagle soaring into view. It looked as if He was ripping through a sheet that divided the physical realm from the heavenly realm as He came bursting through the heavens to take hold of me. I was terrified as I saw gleaming sharp talons ready to pluck me up as if I were His hunted prey. His eyes were fierce and sharp as they narrowed in on me. I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I possibly could and I prayed for God to save me.

Within seconds the eagle crashed into me and grabbed my heart, piercing it with love and ownership. He lifted me up and I sensed weightless freedom as I gazed at His beauty in utter fear and awe.

As the vision continued I sensed a miraculous ability to forgive those who had harmed me because I knew that facing God’s love would be far more terrible than facing my own bitter heart.

Slowly the vision began to fade and I felt the Eagle releasing me from His grip...

I found myself to be in an open field of fresh green grass and Jesus was holding me, cleaning my wounds and praying for me to be revived.

The longing of my heart was answered as God came crashing into my dysfunctional world to repair me. He gave me a heart like His and eyes to see.

For months and years following this experience, Jesus regularly visited me with His presence and led me through stages of healing and love. He placed me in a season of deep rest, and He kept me in that place, until I understood that His purpose for creating me was so that He could delight in me. He showed me how to remove the old garments of shame and replace them with His robes of righteousness. Jesus redeemed every portion of my life that had been drenched in sin and He traded my ashes for beauty.

When spending time in His presence I would often pick up the pen and meet Jesus through journaling and writing. I believe a key to my calling in His kingdom is found through writing as I study His nature and write about what I find in Scripture and through prayer.

The desire of my heart continues to be that I would see and experience God so that I can tell people the magnificent stories of His beauty and love. I believe that Christianity is not to be a religious routine, but rather an experiential journey of blood, sweat, tears and laughter as we seek the heart of God. (shred of my journal)