Alterations – Kristi Bridges
"My word…will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it." (Isaiah 55:11b NLT)
“Look, Kristi! Let’s take the top from this pattern and add the collar from that one. Won’t that be gorgeous?” When I was growing up, Mom and I spent hours studying Butterick Patterns and wandering through fabric stores. Mom is a brilliant seamstress; there’s no pattern she can’t alter.
One night, I began to text a friend in order to cancel a speaking engagement. I wanted to hide in my house and never leave. I didn't feel fit to take the stage.
At forty-five, whenever I teach, sing, speak I feel like I'm an eight-year-old child playing dress-up—just a kid pretending. My thumb bounced over the letters and then erased them. It bounced, paused, and erased again. My negative phrases were simply not true.
After years of letting God shape my understanding, I couldn’t agree with the self-deprecating ugliness I had written on the screen. I looked at the clock. I’d worked late and relaxed with my husband instead of pursuing my dreams. I looked up at God, ever-present and quietly waiting for acknowledgment. Tears spilled as I recognized the pattern.
When I’m tired, I feel time racing by and my inner critic says I’m no good, but that is a lie. God is good, and I’m His dearly loved child. He will accomplish everything He sets out to do.
I hit delete and sent a text asking for prayer instead. My friend responded, and I replaced self-criticism with God’s comfort. I took a victory lap and wrote a bit before lying down.
There is no pattern which cannot be altered.
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