"Him that is weak in the faith receive ye…" (Romans 14:1a KJV)
Most are familiar with people who compensate for feelings of guilt by pointing the finger at everybody else's sins, who have yet to take their place as sinners and accept the love of God in Christ.
But you may come across a puzzling person who uses a different kind of compensation. They have no problem taking their place as a sinner. The problem is, their feelings of unworthiness leave them feeling too unworthy of love or acceptance by anyone.
They compensate for feelings of unworthiness by pushing people away and doing everything in their power to keep people at bay. They believe they are unlovable and deserve rejection. Any challenge to this core belief is immediately dismissed. Their unconscious thought process goes something like this:
I must push people away before they push me away. I need to be in control of my own rejection. If I am going to get rejected (as no doubt I will) I want it to be on my terms; at least I will have a little bit of power left to feel validated.
They push people away because they are convinced they won't be able to be what others expect, this way they can breathe a sigh of relief because they won’t be disappointing anyone. This kind of psychological quagmire is more common that you might imagine.
If you come across a person who is compensating for feelings of unworthiness, recognize what is going on. Give them space but don’t allow them to push you completely away.
Pray for the patience and unconditional love it takes to get them to come around and trust you. Extend the love of God to these puzzling precious souls Christ died for.
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